Currently in the air about to land at LaGuardia Airport. We are returning from my husband’s family reunion. This is our second to last trip planned before our baby girl arrives in November.
Many people feel sad at the end of the trip, but I’m always the opposite. I’m ready to get back to my own space that I appreciate so much more while I am away. I love my everyday life and travel of any kind is just a cherry on top of a great sundae.
When I saw the twinkling lights of the city, my usual contentment was replaced with sadness.
There were A LOT of children at the family reunion. Admittedly the surplus of kids acted as a reality of what is to come. If the children were not enough, the wildly accurate “just you wait” warnings from adults were plentiful.
Traveling while pregnant has its restrictions, but there is get-up-and-go freedom that still exists. Sleep in or seize the day, the choice is ours. Quickly pop over somewhere – there is no little one to wrangle.
After our babymoon, the next time we travel it’ll be with an infant in tow. What was once easy and carefree will need to be meticulously prepared for. And even with the most detailed planning, there is no way to know how travel will go with this tiny human.
I am so excited to become a mom, but I can’t ignore the feeling of loss that becomes stronger with each passing month. I know I am heading toward something amazing, but to get there it means leaving a version of myself behind.
Don’t get me wrong. I will gladly close the chapter on this version of me if it means I get to be a mom to this little person who I already love so much (even though we haven’t met yet). Mourning the fact that what once was, will never be again is also okay.
Two truths can exist at the same time. I am so thrilled to become a mom in three and a half months. I am sad that becoming mom means major parts of my lifestyle will change.
Does the excitement outweigh the sadness? It does, but I refuse to ignore the sadness. Every feeling we feel is valid even the ones that make us feel a little selfish or a teensy bit ungrateful.
Crazy how reflective landing at LaGuardia Airport can make you, huh?
If you’ve gotten this far, thanks for reading ❤️
Alexa Alfonso 